Ad Nauseum

Dear Facebook,

There are two and only two ways in which you are better than Myspace. One, you don't break all the time. However you are antiseptic and boring, so for me, it balances out.

But the ONE thing that I genuinely prefer about Facebook over Myspace is that the ads are slightly less disgusting. Only to sign on today and see that the dreaded side-view diet pictures are following me over! I DON'T NEED TO SEE THOSE! Every freaking single time I sign on. At least Myspace is scary and badass. You kind of have to expect horror at any given turn. Here, it's just sad and pathetic.

Thanks.

~ Judi





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Dear Myspace,

One big reason for the exodus to Facebook is, well, the aforementioned breaking all the time of everything. You can only see the dreaded: Sorry! An unexpected error has occurred…, before Myspace becomes the equivalent of a flaky boyfriend. Fine if there is no kinder, gentler boyfriend available, but enough abandonment, and people seek out greener pastures. And don't get me started on your shoddy treatment of your final bastion of loyalty, the bloggers. Richard covered that quite nicely the other day.

Still, I still love you the most. Facebook's smug and irritating. However, what I'd like to discuss today is that deeply horrifying ad of Miley Cyrus, Selena Gomez, and someone else who looks like she just got off the swings at the playground.

Guys. One of the reasons Facebook took off the way it did is that you’re kind of famous for attracting sexual predators. So WTF ARE YOU THINKING? That "Who's the Next Disney Bad Girl?" thing looks like one of those "Fuck someone tonight in Freeport!" ads mixed with the outtakes of "Human Trafficking."

For ALL the censoring you do, the deletion of blogs because someone's got a bee up his or her bonnet made up of personal beef and ulterior agendas, one might think you'd be slightly capable of monitoring your own site advertisements to not look like irony incarnate, tied up in one underage package. It's shit like that that makes me want to drop all loyalty to you and just spend my days huddled in fear, exchanging fake daisies and pokes against a plain white background over yonder.

Just something to think about. You desperately keep copying Facebook in an effort to stop the hemorrhaging away of your users. Well, you don't have to do that! You just have to stop being a bad parody of yourself.

Thanks.

~ Judi














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