Spike TV's Video Game Award Show

So after the fun of writing about Spike TV's Guy's Choice Awards, you can imagine my excitement that Javier was DVRing "Spike TV's Videogame Awards." Stellar.

As you know, I am not a gamer, but I have love and respect for video games.

And I admire the culture. I'm working up this whole conspiracy theory in my head regarding the connection among gamers, hip hop, hippies, and the military, but more on that another time. For now, I give you my notes from…




Spike TV's Video Game Awards!


See now, as cool as Jack Black can be, I just don't need to see him, or anybody for that matter, having a graphic threesome with a Playstation 3 and an Xbox 360. I mean, I get that they are the current Betty and Veronica of systems, but dude. Certain things are better left unspoken. And unseen.

But on it goes until the Wii shoots Jack Black. Also the Nintendo DS is his son. Please feel free to fill in blanks. No pun intended.

Now Jack Black is singing in his underwear, and here is Craig Robinson! Hooray! He sings, which is awesome as always.

I was still getting into the flow of this world when the following happened, so I'll just give you my notes:

"I don't know how to explain this."

"GTA IV"

"Wii Fit"

"Queen of Hearts Barbie chick"

"Javier: Yay! Tenacious D!"

Craig pronounces Jack Black the host of the 2008 Video Game Awards and I realize that my hand hurts and this hasn't even started yet. That's what she said.

Here is our first sneak peek at Brutal Legend, and get used to it, because this show is basically one big commercial for it. But I am okay with that, due to subject matter

Here's Marisa Miller; cue my usual internal debate regarding her.

But hey, she is introducing "Gears of War 2," which is one of the games I am getting Javier for Christmas! I respect his taste in videogames, so I have to give it up for this segment.









LL COOL J!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



I love LL Cool J. He is just the best. Except I experience a moment of ambivalence when he says "Holy Spirit" and "utilize" in the same breath.

"It's time for war!" Pretty badass.










And this is all to lead up to announcing a UFC® game. Which is awesome.

Now I recognize Forrest Griffin, and feel very cool, indeed.










"Mama Said Knock You Out!" SWEET. I wonder if my affinity for Spike TV has to do with their catering to my age group. I went straight back to the lab tables in junior high when LL started doing this song.

Okay! Well now, Javier informs me that Rashad Evans is presenting the award for:




Best Shooter:

Far Cry 2
Resistance 2
Left for Dead
Gears of War 2




Gears of War 2 wins, this category and also Best Xbox 360 Game.

I should mention that the requisite model chicks who present and walk around look like tin men angels, which I think is cool 'cause this is a videogame awards show, and they keep it all in character.



World Premiere! GOD OF WAR III. Javier is excited.





The president of EA Sports introduces the "ultimate boxing game experience," and here comes Mike Tyson and the audience has its usual mixed reaction.

World Premiere! Fight Night Round 4.









I'm probably the last person you should ever take financial advice from, but I think that GameStop is a good stock/franchise(?) investment right now.

NEIL PATRICK HARRIS!!!!!!!!!!!







Some dude heckles NPH about Doogie and NPH pulls out a gun and says "I was in 'Proof' on Broadway!" which is awesome on a lot of levels, but mainly I just think that's cool! The same time as Mary Louise Parker?

NPH is presenting:



Best Independent Game Fueled by Dew:

Audiosurf
Braid
Pixeljunk Eden
World of Goo



NPH doesn't have the winner's card! Aw.

World of Goo wins. And as an aside, those games all look really cool to me. I love that there's always "Independent," no matter what's going on.

One World of Goo dude is there, but not another, so the one who is there holds up a picture of the other guy on a popsicle stick, which I am choosing to take as a shoutout.










Oh hey, Pearl Jam's "Ten" is coming to Rock Band!

And here is a Ms. Pac-Man background! Yay! I should mention that the stage and place in general is very cool looking, with lots of neon lights that change around. I like it!

Eliza Dushku! Presenting a Big Name in the Game Award to Kiefer Sutherland for Call of Duty: World of War. Kiefer gives a very nice speech, in which he says "grooviest."










Chris Evans is here to introduce the All-American Rejects, and they play, and I'm never sure what kind of reaction I'm supposed to have, regarding this band. There seems to be a lot at stake though, based on the heated debates.

Kim Kardashian presenting World Premiere! Dante's Inferno. There is a line about how Dante's Inferno is a book, that I will not discuss; I will just move on in general but not before casting one quizzical look back at society, that Kim Kardashian is a celebrity to begin with.

That said, it looks like a good game.











Tony Hawk here, to present the Gamer God Award to Will Wright, who talks about physics, fittingly enough ("Survivor," woot!)

Now here is Jeff Keene (sp?), introducing a World Premiere! Grand Theft Auto IV: The Lost and Damned. It looks interesting! Biker dudes. Download it exclusively on Xbox Live!









From the upcoming "Street Fighter" movie, here are Chris Klein and Kristin Kreuk to present:




Best RPG:

Fable 2
Fallout 3
Warhammer Online: Age of Reckoning
The World Ends with You

Winner: Fallout 3.










Busta Rhymes! Is here, and has a new album out on March 10, 2009.

World Premiere! Uncharted 2: Among Thieves

Scary! There is a train crash, and just, whoa. That one looks interesting to me.












World Premiere! Terminator Salvation.







World Premiere! Mafia 2.







Tony Hawk is back, introducing 50 Cent, who performs that new song I really like.

World Premiere! Watchmen: The End is Nigh.

Yay, Pat Wilson and Scott Shriner from Weezer! And they awesomely parody the whole Guitar Hero/Rock Band vs. the people who see that as selling out debate. Then they present:



Best Music Game:

Guitar Hero World Tour
Wii Music
Rock Band 2
Singstar




Rock Band 2 wins. Yay!

Live ad for "Mall Cop."

Rampage Jackson.





Studio of the Year:

Media Molecule - Little Big Planet
Rockstar North - GTA IV
Harmonix - Rock Band 2
Bethesda Game Studios - Fallout 3



Winner: Media Molecule for "Little Big Planet," also taking "Best PS3 Game for Little Big Planet.














And now they run through all the non-presented awards:

Best Driving Game
Burnout Paradise

Best Game Based on a Movie or TV Show
Lego Indiana Jones: The Original Movie

Best Fighting Game
Soul Calibur IV (Another Javier Christmas pick!)

Best PC Game and Best Multiplayer Game
Left 4 Dead

Best Handheld Game
Professor Layton and the Curious Cottage

Best Wii Game
Boom Blox

Best Individual Sports Game
Shaun White Snowboarding

Big Name in the Game - Female
Jenny McCarthy as Tanya in Command and Conquer: Red Alert 3

Best Performance by a Human Male
Michael Hollick as Niko Bellic in GTA IV

Best Performance by a Human Female
Debi Mae West as Meryl Silverburg in Metal Gear Sold 4: Guns of the Patriots

Best Graphics and Best Original Score
Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots

Tony Hawk again, saying that his personal favorite World Premiere! was for Gears of War 2, which you can apparently download in the middle of the night, tonight. FYI.

Jack Black now brings out Tim Schaefer, of "Brutal Legend" fame and honor. Also Rob Halford of Judas Priest, who voices General Lionwhyte in the game.

World Premiere! Brutal Legend! And it's about metal!

Megan Fox presenting:




Game of the Year:

Grand Theft Auto IV
Little Big Planet
Fallout 3
Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots
Gears of War 2



And the winner is GTA IV, which also wins Best Action-Adventure Game! The winner gives a really nice acceptance speech, and says "We're all gamers." That's awesome.













Jack Black and Craig are back to bid adieu, and sending us out are the Weezer dudes doing this song that's really pretty cool, but I am prejudiced, because it sounds like they're using "'Tis the Gift to Be Simple." Can anyone weigh in on that?













Please fill in holes -- knowledge, information, discussion that I am not equipped for! Did you watch the show? What do you think about the awards; would you have voted differently?






~ THE END ~








©2008