Morning Shit List Awards

Bronze Medal

The person in front of me on Grand Boulevard who decided that it would be a good idea to drive 15 miles an hour, then STOP at a yellow light, thereby preventing me from making a right on a red (or a YELLOW) because there was a construction vehicle parked at Deli Boy. This cost me valuable time and pissed me off.



Silver Medal

The woman on 1010 WINS. Can I just say where in the world do they find these woman on the street people? Because they're always annoying.

Okay, SIDEBAR.

Support the war; don't support the war; all your choice and right to decide. Okay? Are we clear? So I am not anti-anti-war people. HOWEVER. When the war in Iraq initially started, 1010 WINS of course covered the protesting. And there was this woman, who I'm not kidding, said (in of course the most annoying Long Island accent ever): "My son joined the military. Why? So he could get an education. Now he has to go fight in a war? I don't think so!" As if that settled it, dammit! And can I just say what the fuck? Do you not HEAR what you are saying, lady? The United States Military is not Sallie Mae.

Yes, so this morning, 1010 WINS was discussing a crime in Queens somewhere, and this one woman was all, "In this neighborhood? No, it's not right. Not in this neighborhood. I already got my daughters."

??????

There are about 12,000 things wrong with that statement. Like, in another neighborhood, it would be right? And please, you live in Queens, not Walnut Grove. A little too close to the kitchen if you can't take the heat, you know? It's New York City. Although don't EVEN get me started on Queens people who act like they are not on Long Island, because I don't recall crossing any bridges to get to Queens. Pffft.

FURTHERmore, what does that MEAN, "I already got my daughters"??????? Because if there is one more thing I hate, it's women who act like being able to successfully catch a sperm entitles them to goddess status. No offense to motherhood, it's a beautiful thing, but come on. What do your daughters have to do with crime?



Gold Medal

One of the reasons I got so annoyed at Silver Medal Lady making the crime All About Her Daughters is that I was so angry about the crime itself. So these guys robbed this woman and glued her eyes and lips shut.

What.

The.

FUCK.

Listen up, Crime Boys! I doubt you're reading my blog, but Ima say it anyway. YOU are a couple of full-on pussies, and I hate you, and I think you should be charged with something much worse than whatever bullshit charge you end up on when--WHEN--they catch you. I will lobby so hard to lock you up it's not even funny. Then when you have dicks in your asses you can think about what feeling helpless is. And if that doesn't happen, I'll come after you myself with my Chinese mace! Because you suck, you fucking sadistic COWARDS.

Seriously. I know I have a Big Thing about feeling helpless and trapped. While watching "Kill Bill" with Javier, the whole "she gets dry" scene bugged me out tremendously, and I said to him, "I think that's what would have really really upset me the most." So he goes, "Really, the rape, not so much with the murder of you and your family?"

Fair point, but seriously, I have a big problem with not being able to fight back, and I can't even begin to fathom what that woman went through. The terror, the utter helplessness. I think these guys should be charged with hate crime, like in the same way you get in extra trouble for hate crime, you should get in extra trouble for being a sadistic fuck.

That is all. Seriously, Pussy Crime Boys. Come fuck with me, I dare you.




HAVE A NICE DAY EVERYONE!