Junior Low :'(

It's been awhile since I humiliated myself, especially since last night at my work party, I had the presence of mind to remember that open bar + Corona = Godsend. So since I didn't fall down or anything, I feel lacking, and am going to share with you the famous "Fading Shadows." It's a song I wrote in eighth grade for a boy that I was in love with, who, alas, loved another. His code name was "Herbie," and that is what I shall call him. Anyway, I wrote this song about my sadness:

All the time you ignore me
And pass me right by
I turn around rejected
And I almost start to cry

Then the hurt changes to anger
And I solemnly swear
That I love you no more
And I don't really care

Ohhhh
Fading shadows
Of the way that I feel
Shadows are fading and I don't know what's real
I need time to get over you
I need time to heal

I think there was more, if for no other reason than I have always felt very strongly about bridges. But that is all I remember. And I will tell you this song was no joke. I was very proud of it, and even wrote piano music to go along with it!

However, all my creative efforts were for naught, as, okay. See, I spent the whole year in eighth grade love with this guy, and that is intense. And he of course loved Kerry, because everyone did, that I was used to, but then they went out, breaking my heart and also creating an uncomfortable connection in my mind with Rod Stewart's "My Heart Can't Tell You No."

Finally, though, they broke up, and I must give myself retroactive props for actually feeling bad for the both of them, looking so sad. But we all must move on, and for me, I thought that moving on would maybe happen at Great Adventure. You see, our mutual friend Christina was having her birthday party there. Exciting! And Herbie and I got along pretty well, but you know in "Friends" when Rachel's like, "He needs to see me outside of work so he can start falling in love with me!" about JoshOOAH? That is totally how I felt. I mean, I'm not a morning person. I'm only going to look so good when I do my makeup on the bus, and have to wear a uniform. But in real life? He simply had no idea just how curly I could get my hair, you know? I had Benders! Also, I had this totally awesome outfit I was going to wear, and seriously I was rocking a dangerous combination of 1989, a weird sense of humor, and fashion inspiration from The Baby-Sitters Club. So you can only imagine what this outfit looked like. I will tell you that the skirt had ruffles, and was to be accompanied by my green hightops.

PLUS, I shine at amusement parks! That is totally my tomboy equivalent of sports! Meaning that I will do ANYthing at an amusement park; I love that adrenaline immensely. It's actually probably a good thing that Action Park closed down when it did. Considering that I saw the bloody pictures on the line for the Alpine Slide, laughed, then went full throttle down the entire hill.

Anyway, what? Oh, right. So I was seriously looking forward to this day. Even if Herbie never liked me as more than a friend, I genuinely liked him as a person, and everyone going. Plus, Lightning Loops was still around, and that ride ruled!

About a week before the party, I was asking Christina about it, and she looked visibly uncomfortable. "What's wrong?" I said. ("What's wrong Dad...what's wrong Dad...what's wrong Dad...") She was all, "I don't want to tell you."

!

"No, you can tell me, what is it?"

"Herbie...isn't going to go if you're going."

!

"What? Why?"

"He said he hates you."

GONG!!!!

So that was that. He hated me. To this day, I'm not sure why, but I felt it was rather harsh. Not like me, sure, but hate? So yeah. That was really depressing and confusing. Also, we didn't even go to Great Adventure. We went to see "K-9" with Jim Belushi at the Valley Stream theater, then had a sleepover at Christina's house. We watched Guns N' Roses videos, and that was the night that I decided I thought "Patience" was overrated.

And slowly, my heart healed, and I was able to unrequited love again in ninth grade.

Anyone who says that being a teenager is the best time of someone's life is CRAZY.




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