Meredeath?

So I must wonder out loud whether I can truly *handle* watching "Grey's Anatomy," as a general life choice. I mean, I am like Rachel Greene -- EVERYthing makes me cry. I am really not kidding, or even exaggerating. You still might not believe me, but you will when I give you the following keywords: Alcohol. "Jack Frost" starring Michael Keaton. Tears. Through tears: "That would be so SAD if you were a snowman!!!"

Yeah. And since "Party of Five" made its gloriously morose debut in 1994, I have had my go-to shows for catharsis. You know what I'm talking about. You KNOW going in that you're boarding an emotional rollercoaster, but it's just so masochistically great. So I had "Party of Five." Then there were other shows that made me cry sometimes, but were all peppy and stuff, like "Buffy." I'm talking about a show that is not just heartwarming emotional, like my beloved "Gilmore Girls," but a show that while it may be funny, is simply there to wreak havoc with your heart. So "Felicity" was the perfect successor to "Party of Five." Nothing could beat PO5 for its deliciously overwrought yet well-done alcoholism arc of Season 3, though they sure did TRY by giving Charlie cancer the next season. But "Felicity" was less about dramatic arcs, and more about messing with your head every week, most notably the episode "The Storm," which is basically filled with rain and tears. Not to mention excellent use of a Ryan Adams song.

Wait, what? Oh, right. So then "Felicity" went away, but I was able to supplement it with "Freaks and Geeks" DVDs, and the end of "Buffy." But nowadays, it's been tough. My shows now are more funny than anything, and although I know I very well might shed a tear or two at "Gilmore Girls" or a Keith/Veronica scene in "Veronica Mars," I seriously am lacking in a show that just knees me in the groin (so to speak) from the getgo, and keeps me in emotional turmoil through the end. And ideally, keeps me melancholy for a good hour after.

I know this sounds psychotic, but I SWEAR there are others out there who are the same way. Or they have it with depressing albums. Also, to be fair, I don't have any daytime soaps.

Anyway! I do have a go-to show again, which brings me back to my thesis statement. Which is, DUDE. "Grey's Anatomy" is like a supervillain show, created in a lab, made up of the best of every single show that can deeply mess up your head for an hour. I mean, people die. All the time! And you never know who it is going to be! And then they make you wait for those terrible, terrible words that are way scarier than any horror movie catchphrase ever: "Time of death..."

It's because of that, that makes it hit so close to home despite how fluffy it can be sometimes. There's the great interpersonal stuff. Amazing cast, terrifically strong actors. Katherine Heigl is just the most wonderful thing ever. And Cristina and Burke have some of the best chemistry this side of Buffy and Spike, The Early Years. And even Derrick, who I HATED FOREVER and was the one thing keeping me from getting fully sucked into the vortex? All of a sudden thanks to Netflix, I'm watching from the first season, and he is so likable!

But besides all that, which makes for a great show anyway, they are constantly addressing what all of us know -- that we're all going to die someday, and none of us knows how. But the thing is, that is sort of what makes life scary? But it's also what makes it so special. I was talking to my friend the other day, who said that he realized that his light was going to shine, so it had to be pure. Which inspired me so much to really fight back for my positivity. So maybe I should keep watching the show. Yes, I will definitely be afraid that I'm dying for a bunch of reasons, 'cause, hey! On that show, YOU NEVER KNOW! But maybe one of the reasons Cry Shows are great, is that they can get you to a more honest place emotionally, a place where you really start appreciating how precious life is.

A couple of hundred years ago, Benjamin Franklin shared with the world the secret of his success. Never leave that till tomorrow, he said, which you can do today. This is the man who discovered electricity. You think more people would listen to what he had to say. I don't know why we put things off, but if I had to guess, I'd have to say it has a lot to do with fear. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, sometimes the fear is just of making a decision, because what if you're wrong? What if you're making a mistake you can't undo? The early bird catches the worm. A stitch in time saves nine. He who hesitates is lost. We can't pretend we hadn't been told. We've all heard the proverbs, heard the philosophers, heard our grandparents warning us about wasted time, heard the damn poets urging us to seize the day. Still, sometimes we have to see for ourselves. We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons. We have to sweep today's possibility under tomorrow's rug until we can't anymore. Until we finally understand for ourselves what Benjamin Franklin really meant. That knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping, and even the biggest failure, even the worst, beat the hell out of never trying.
~ Meredith



©2006