A Starburst PSA

For my birthday, my beautiful friends gave me a whole bunch of kiddie stuff, because when I am not busy being 12 years old, I'm busy being six. The bag they gave me was filled with awesome things, including a yellow Slinky and this ball that when you squeeze it, ORANGE BALLS pop out! Awesome!

So but in this bag of greatness was Starburst, which is great, because now I have candy at my desk that I can take or leave, unlike chocolate, which I simply do not allow. So I was very excited today, to be able to eat a Starburst for an afternoon treat.

My Starburst was blue! What does blue taste like, I wondered as I unwrapped it, then put it in my mouth.

I'll tell you what blue tastes like. It tastes like a horror movie inside your mouth. Seriously, I had no idea what to do with myself! WHAT IS HAPPENING, my brain tried to figure out, as it fought panic! It tasted like CHRISTMAS TREES, I managed to discern; however, I knew that wasn't even right, because GIN tastes like Christmas trees, and I've developed a fondness for gin. This was different. This was an aggressive...Christmas tree. I still couldn't shake that idea.

That is when I realized that what I had in my mouth tasted like the cloying sweetness of old Christmas tree needles. You know, when you go underneath the tree, and it's that overwhelming sweet smell, and then that same smell haunts your vacuum cleaner forevermore. The Starburst people took this smell, and made it into a FLAVOR.

So do not buy the "Baja, California" Starburst. Or if you must, whatever you do, DO NOT EAT THE BLUE. I really just messed up like, all six of my senses.