Maybe I'll Just Be A "Playful Proofreader" Or "Wild Waitress"

"Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it." ~ Cady from "Mean Girls"


While you all know I hate that word, I will let it slide for the purposes of the blog, because the point remains. Now don't get me wrong, wear whatever you want on Halloween and have a good time! I myself bared more cleavage as Nancy Spungen than...well I don't really have an analogy, but I don't usually run around in public like that. The point is, I'm not here to judge.

That's not entirely true. I must say that one thing I hate about the whole "sexy" costume thing is that it leads to non-costumes. This is so not acceptable to me. Give me creativity, dammit! Or at least placate me with some BS response. 'Cause if you flounder around all "Um, um, I just wanted boys to like me," it's like, well sure, okay, but can't you be half naked in a legitimate costume?

That said, this site is blowing my mind. I stumbled upon it innocently, while trying to figure out my costume, and was like, WTF!


First things first. I am completely down with the "naughty nurse" thing, but THIS?



THIS IS NOT A NURSE!!! This -- I don't know what this is! A "trampy train conductor" or a "buxom barmaid," maybe! But NURSE??? NO!!! I mean, like, you can justify the fishnet stockings and stiletto heels for a nurse, but they HAVE to be white. This is just craziness, and I am offended as a costume person.

This is just wrong. They call it "Wizard Wanda," but we all know what this is:



It's effing Hermione Granger! All sexed up! That is wrong on so many levels. The only way you can justify being a sexed-up Hermione for Halloween is if you say you're going as Lindsey Lohan's parody of Hermione from SNL.

Now.



That is, according to the site, "Picnic Chick Dorothy Costume."

...

First of all. What's up with "Picnic Chick?" There's no need to justify the basket; that's where she kept Toto! Which, by the way, WHERE IS HE! That stupid picture on your apron is no substitute!

Second of all. Blonde??? No. Dorothy was not blonde.

Third of all. I have my own St. Pauli Girl's shirt, and think they're neat. However, Dorothy was from a farm in Kansas and did not wear such things. Although I will give it up for the little blue bows on the thigh highs. Those are REALLY cute, and I want some.

But FOURTH OF ALL -- that is not a woman. No way in hell.

Although I mock it, this really is a great site. There's like, 25 billion costumes. And the costume titles are hilarious. I would love to get a copywriting job making up names for non-costumes like "Kitty Mystery" and "Sassy Gangster" (NOT to be confused with "SEXY GangstA.")

AND. Whoever made up this one deserves a gold star.



The name of this costume? Ann Munition. Brilliant.



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