Outbore. Outannoy. Outshutup.

Dear Terry,

I do like that you should have been gone weeks ago but kept foiling the Smug Casayan plans, but how can you be so unfailingly clueless, interpersonally and strategically??? Take last episode, when you were running down the list of reasons people should vote for you, I was like AHHHH, NO TERRY, NO, you don't say "I provided and worked hard," because who cares, I mean sure you can mention that, but a) you were hardly Richard Hatch with the fish, nevermind your ersatz Tom Westman schtick never brought the tribe back a shark you killed with your bare hands, you just kinda tried. And ANYway, you don't deserve to win 'cause you played Pioneer Man for 39 days -- make the argument that you should have no way made it to final two, yet you did. PRETEND you had a strategy. Grrrrr.

Oh! And while you're at it Terry, don't ever again presume a relationship hierarchy. I thought you basically made good calls in terms of who you took, and you were probably the only person out there who shouldn't have thrown the challenge, but condescendingly telling Aras that marriage trumps mothers -- that's wack. And stupid, because then why didn't you take the only other married couple and give THEM the private room and let Boston play outdoorsman for a night, which would have made much more sense.

Pffft. Oh yeah, and stop rolling your eyes at everything, seeing as you're not ten. Thanks.

~ Judi




Annnndd my thoughts on the rest of the Survivors and jury:


Cirie = LOVE. She should have been gone in the FIRST episode but dodged all the bullets and has played an excellent strategic game. And cracks me up. She's very observant, which is awesome, and a quality that's been sorely missing in this cast of chuckleheads, each of whom was cast over me! But yay, Cirie.

Aras = I thought he was dead in the water when he told Melinda she was going. But, I must give him props for his strategic game. After he stopped with the virtual diagrams of how his alliance was set up (bad!), he seemed, unlike say, TERRY, to know how to play the game (good!). Oh, and he's actually even hotter now that he's pissed and angry and disheveled all the time.

Danielle = Yeahhh. Girl just doesn't do it for me. Not sure why. She just is kinda princess-y, which I never enjoy. Oh and when she was all like "Bobby's not a gentleman" 'cause he used, ya know, the bathroom that he totally won for the tribe to perform a bowel movement...how is that not being a gentleman? HOW, Danielle? Anyway.

Shane = Ah, Shane. He's wackadoo, but I kind of love him, and definitely am not happy that he's gone, 'cause it's gonna be MAD boring now. The stuff I didn't like about him -- his temper and outbursts, he seemed to genuinely try to work on. Not always successfully, but...and man, that was awesome when he made fun of Jeff.

Courtney = Shut up, Courtney. Seriously, WHY does there always have to be that person on "Survivor" who has to act all put out like everyone owed her something, and failed her personally? So, Danielle was your friend. So what? She was supposed to give you a million dollars? Ugh.

Bruce = Aw, Bruce. I'm glad he's feeling better.

Sally = Sally! Step away...from the makeup. Seriously, I don't know why that always happens on "Survivor," with the HookerFace phenomenom of jury ladies. I get that it must feel good to have control over your appearance again, but you are not SIX, and should have ostensibly learned how to not look like Busy Phillips on crack. She's sooo pretty, Sally...I just don't get it. Anyway, I liked her a lot, and was rooting for her. Oh, well.

Austin = Austin is my boyfriend.

So there you have it. I am confused though, because why is it on Thursday and Sunday? Are they really going to have another 2-hour finale with just the Final Three? Because those are VERY VERY boring!

Anyway, it's still an awesome show. But Mark Burnett, have you not been reading my blogs??? CAST ME, already! I will be interesting! I will strategize! I won't quit! I don't have fake boobs! I will never, ever say "head's on the chopping block," because seriously, how annoying! And dude. No WAY could I be more boring than the youngish blondes you usually cast even if I tried REALLY HARD.


©2006