The Gauntlet II II

- I heart Randy. WTF is he doing with Kina???

- Speaking of whom -- if you press the mute button while she and Cara are fighting, not only will you not need prescription painkillers to get rid of the headache, but you can really imagine that they are fighting over who stole whose orange paint. I mean, "sunless tanner."

- I've always liked Robin, for some reason.

- And ya know, I tried to like Beth? I am relatively new to this horrifying trainwreck otherwise known as Bunim/Murray Productions, so I didn't have reason to hate Beth based on the past. And the "cool" people on this show are such an utterly loathsome bunch that I really wanted to root for the underdog. But she's just so un-self aware! Katie, I don't love her at all, especially 'cause she's so Thai from "Clueless," you know, the uncool one who claws her way into the popular group and somehow becomes more hateful for it, well to me, that's kind of Katie, but anyway, back in her day, she was at least scrappy, you know, when push came to shove, she did okay, but Beth was just like "Uhhhhhhh...whatever...." In summation: Shut up, Beth.

- Not that Aneesa doesn't need to shut up, too.

- So wait, why is Robin with freaking Mar(k?c?)? He's a douche. If I didn't already know this, it would be made evident by his wearing sunglasses.

- Awww, Dumb Cara had "crazy feelings" for whom?

- Wait! Does Randy like dudes?

- Or is he just so stoned that he doesn't realize about Kina?

- 'Cause there is no way that's not a drag queen up there.

- Brad is...shut up, Brad's crooked hat.

- Robin is so pretty. And her dress rules. She should get Randy, and Kina should get stuck with Mar(k?c?).

- Is Kina from Plainview?

- Is the host a porn star? No, but really, why is it that MTV can hire -- well, okay, their male hosts are basically morons, but at least they are sometimes funny and get to be famous. The chicks they get to host these pageants of dumbassery just get vapider by the second. Like, MTV, there are plenty of hot women out there! Do they all have to be sharing the same brain cell to be on your network? You used to have cool girl hosts! Remember Martha Quinn???

- Okay, I was holding my tongue for awhile, but. Panic! At the Disco -- are they really annoying, or like, what is their deal?

- Wow, MTV. Way to totally ruin the tiny bit of potential charm the "quit" schtick by TJ could have had.

- Oh, I'm sorry. Kina was giving a shoutout to Ireland! Orange skin! White teeth! Green eyelids!

- It's over? O...kay... Thanks for another stellar season, MTV! I hope to see all these beautiful people again SOON!