Sage Advice For Heterosexual Men: Lesson One

a. If you are overcome by an insatiable curiosity as to a woman's bra size, and simply cannot privately wonder about it to yourself and/or your cronies...just ask her. Bluntly. Don't try to be all *polite* about it. Don't say, "I'm sorry, I don't mean to be rude, but..." Don't be coy. When you find yourself asking someone whom you've never met about her breast size, you really need to know that you left proprietary illusions behind miles ago.

b. If said woman politely declines your request, consider yourself lucky that she did not throw her drink in your face, especially when that is something she has always wanted to do. Carry on and do not, say, START GUESSING. Do not adopt a tone and expression of, "It's okay that you're shy."

c. While you're at it, there is no need to launch into an unsolicited monologue about what a "champion kisser" you are.