Ay Ay Oh Ya Ya Ya

You might not believe this, but I am obsessed with "Survivor." I know, television breeds the idle minds, but every now and then I like to indulge a little, so I allow myself to watch "the Survivor." (™Sandy Cohen, begatten of Jerry Seinfeld.)

Anyway, if you haven't ever watched "Survivor," or if you stopped because it got repetitive, frustrating, and/or just downright sucked -- start watching. NOW. Because it is so great, I can't even tell you. It rocks in every way.

I don't know what happened, exactly. Because you always hear from shows that you love, but go downhill, then promise to get good again, but just get worse and worse until they get put out of their misery and you are kind of sad, but kind of relieved. Or you witness a show that's "back!" because it has an amazingly great episode or few, and you knew the show could do it, because it hasn't been on the air that long, and never had a reason to not be good, and should still be great. But then you feel suckered, because the show gets really uneven again, and you don't cry when your sister erases it from the DVR out of spite.

Ahem.

But "Survivor" managed to do it. I'm not kidding. First of all, the challenges they've done this season are COOL. None of this "all puzzles, all the time" nonsense they devolved into awhile back, and no tedious retreads of the show's "glory days." Nope! It's like Mark Burnett and the gang drank a lot of coffee one night while listening to The Killers or something and were like, "Dude! You know what would totally RULE? If we like, had people push each other underwater, and just basically beat the crap out of each other!" Lather, rinse, repeat for basically all the challenges so far. Except for that awesome one w/the sandbag carrying. Okay, and the one where they had to build a bathroom. So I guess they aren't all violent. But the point is, the challenges this season are really ambitious and interesting, and I appreciate it.

Almost as much as I appreciate being given not one, but two boyfriends this season! Tom and Ian are like Batman and Robin or something, all cool and fighting crime, and just being awesome together. Whether chopping the heads off of snakes, or staying underwater for 7 minutes at a time to single(double?)handedly win immunity for Koror, Tom and Ian rule. And seem like genuinely lovely people, which is...heck, they make me want to say super! And I guess they make me want to say "heck," too.

And my non-boyfriends are pretty great, too, for the most part. Stephenie is my new hero. Girl is hardcore! And I like Angie, and Bobby Jon in all his psycho glory. There really isn't anyone I don't care for, except for Kim, and she's thankfully gone. Why was she there to begin with, exactly?

Which is my only sadness regarding this season. I had a really rough time last spring, and although it wasn't exactly heralded by my beloved Television Without Pity, the "All-Star" season really helped me get through things, and inspired me. Which made me want to go on "Survivor" myself! And I was all set to do it! Unfortunately, I procrastinated, as I am wont to do, and at the last minute, thought my passport was lost. So I didn't send in my tape and application. Not that I would have gotten on necessarily. I know the odds. But I still think I would have been better than the people they've cast in the young-ish generic blonde slots this season. So that is my only complaint. And it really has not that much to do with the season itself except to say, "Kim???" And maybe Jenn is all set to have some kind of entertaining breakdown or something, or was on some pretty great drugs throughout the audition process, because I have no idea why she is there.

So anyway. If anyone out there is reading this, remember that "Survivor" is on tonight (Wednesday) this week! And Mark Burnett, if you spend your free time reading random web diaries, please put me on your show -- Thanks!

©2005